Remember when I was all “Hey guys, let me use this blog for accountability during this 30-day 29-day challenge because I want to eat clean and have visible triceps and be a healthier human overall?”
Well here we are, about three weeks into the challenge, and it’s way harder than I anticipated. So much harder, in fact, that no amount of workout classes and healthy smoothies make me want to get my ass back on the workout wagon. I think about cheeseburgers, and I ACTUALLY, LITERALLY DROOL. I also really, really want Papa John’s and chocolate, possibly together.
So, instead of telling you about my workout successes and the story of the day James made me drink red cabbage and I didn’t complain (too much), let me keep it real by telling you 10 times I cheated on my 30-day 29-day challenge:
1. The day I used a smoothie-maker to make this non-healthy milkshake because my cravings were making me hallucinate:
2 Cups Vanilla Ice Cream
¼ Cup Milk
2 Tbsp Peanut Butter
2 Tbsp Chocolate Syrup
… and it was awesome.
2. When I woke up in the middle of the night and secretly ate a mini bag of Doritos.
3. When I woke up in the middle of a DIFFERENT night and secretly ate a huge scoop of Hershey’s chocolate spread on a spoon. Twice.
4. Skipping the gym for a weekend to go to Grand Rapids for a wedding, where I ate and drank everything (including – but not limited to – a local beer called Beer Right Meow and everything pictured below).
That is a hot dog, which I ate with a fork because #classy.
… plus some a lot more.
5. Skipping the gym for the entire week following that wedding because I was “too (fill in the blank with literally any adjective).”
6. Swearing off ClassPass because they annoyed me by not letting me go to any more Bikram studios, which I desperately needed to detox from all that eating/drinking/gym-skipping.
8. Eating all the treatz at a baby shower luncheon today:
… plus lunch.
9. Four words: Riot fest food trucks. OK, two more words: And beer.
And No. 10, which is a glimpse into the future: This weekend in Vegas, because all-you-can-eat buffets. How could I not, really?
And there you have it, 10 instances of failure and reasons my jeans went from being tolerable to OMG WAY TOO TIGHT. I mean, I’d go to the gym tonight, but I have to pack. And clean. Basically what I’m saying is I would rather scrub a toilet and do dishes than do a single minute of cardio. Also, pizza.
Anybody else going through a mid-month slump? Share some motivation with me, I’m begging you.