Friday Five: The ‘Oh crap, I shouldn’t have blogged about going on a diet’ edition

I know I promised you guys an update on my FFC Lose to Win challenge, but I locked myself in the bathroom and secretly ate Christmas candy on Tuesday, doughnuts on Wednesday, and cake and wine on Thursday, so let’s just skip updates this week. I am going to try really, really hard starting now. Maybe.

FOOD

I don’t know what kind of rock I’ve been living under for the last almost-30 years, but James and I had Honey Butter Fried Chicken in Avondale for the first time (’twas our last fried meal before the start of the aforementioned challenge) and it was the single greatest hour of my life. We ate fried chicken sandwiches with corn muffins and pimento mac’n cheese, and I shit you not, I feel a little choked up thinking about how magical a moment it was. It was, perhaps, the first date in which we did not speak: we were too busy stuffing our faces.

For all of you Chicago-dwellers not participating in some sort of weight-loss, healthy-eating funny business, you should definitely check out this Honey Butter Fried Chicken pop-up food thing next Tuesday at The Salsa Truck in the West Loop!

honeybutterfriedchicken is omg so good

That was the exact sandwich I ate. And now I want to cry.

MUSIC

I’ve been meaning to tell you guys about this mash-up project by wait what (I can’t even tell you how much this lowercase letter thing is killing me) called the notorious xx – it pairs Notorious B.I.G. with The xx, and it’s my favorite thing to listen to whilst writing and editing. Which is kind of all the time.

And OK, it’s from 2010, so it’s not exactly groundbreaking, but it’s still worth a (few hundred) listen(s).

 

WEEKEND IDEA

I could tell you to go to the Randolph Street Market this weekend, or tell you about this comedy show my co-worker co-wrote for the Second City, but in all honesty, I’m probably going to beg James to cheat on diets with Fruity Pebbles french toast with me at Flo in Noble Square.

Because this:

flo fruity pebbles french toast

I am just really, really hungry today if you couldn’t tell.

BLOGGER

This isn’t really an actual blogger per se, but I learned about it at a blogger event and figured I’d blather about it here. Pretty Quick, which you guys all know about by now, just launched a Beauty VIP program and IT SOUNDS VERY, VERY BEAUTIFUL AND IMPORTANT.

Book at least one service through Pretty Quick a month – brow wax, blow-out, nails, whatever the heck you want – and get a whopping 20 percent off every appointment at any of their salons on Sunday through Wednesday. Since Pretty Quick automatically adds 20 percent gratuity to appointments, it’s like they’re taking care of the tip for you, and I am totally OK with that.

pretty quick 4

(Reminder: If you sign up for PrettyQuick using THIS CODE, you’ll get $15 in your account immediately, which is especially great if you’re broke like me.)

POTPOURRI (AKA THE RANDOM-ASS CATEGORY, NOT THE DRIED FLOWER VARIETY)

This .GIF had me laughing so hard I actually clutched my chest, you guys.

this gif

In other news, FRIDAY! Who’s got cool plans? Anybody? Anybody?

Read this post if you are a BOOK IT! alum (bonus points if you liked those Pizza Hut puppets)

UPDATE: I JUST FOUND OUT SURGE IS BACK. So not only is the ’90s kid inside me screaming about this BOOK IT! alum program, she is going BAT-SHIT CRAZY ABOUT SURGE’S RESURGENCE.

“This might be a scam,” my friend Trina chatted me yesterday, obviously during work hours, with a link to a BOOK IT! alum program. Being the internet security genius I am (not), I assumed everything was safe because she also sent the the following video. And if there’s anything I love, it’s a mid-day trip down memory lane.

If there’s anything ELSE I love, it’s Pizza Hut. I’m a BOOK IT! kid, and I’m pretty sure if I looked hard enough, I could find my sticker-filled, hologram BOOK IT! button at my parents’ house. Reading was my thing then, and it still is now. Pizza was also my other thing then, and it still is now (even when it shouldn’t be).

So in celebration of BOOK IT!’s 30th birthday (!), all BOOK IT! alums are encouraged to fill out this form to get a nostalgic BOOK IT! book (!!) and their own personal pan pizza from Pizza Hut (!!!).

ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW, PIZZA HUT? I love you, I love reading, I love BOOK IT! – and, yes, I really liked those puppets, too. (I’m not the only one.)

pizza hut bring back the puppets please

But enough about the toys. Pizza Hut’s BOOK IT! Program is a really cool thing for kids in kindergarten through sixth grade, and it’s apparently pretty dope for alums now, too. You can learn more about the program here, as well as the rest of BOOK IT!’s birthday festivities, including a $30,000 college sweepstakes awarded to one student who reaches all of his or her reading goals this school year.

Why can’t more brands be as wonderful as Pizza Hut? Now if only they would start an adults-only BOOK IT! program (and, yeah, the puppets).

Any BOOK IT! alums out there chomping at the bit to chow down on that free personal pan pizza?

10 times I cheated on my 29-day challenge (already)

Remember when I was all “Hey guys, let me use this blog for accountability during this 30-day 29-day challenge because I want to eat clean and have visible triceps and be a healthier human overall?”

Well here we are, about three weeks into the challenge, and it’s way harder than I anticipated. So much harder, in fact, that no amount of workout classes and healthy smoothies make me want to get my ass back on the workout wagon. I think about cheeseburgers, and I ACTUALLY, LITERALLY DROOL. I also really, really want Papa John’s and chocolate, possibly together.

So, instead of telling you about my workout successes and the story of the day James made me drink red cabbage and I didn’t complain (too much), let me keep it real by telling you 10 times I cheated on my 30-day 29-day challenge:

1. The day I used a smoothie-maker to make this non-healthy milkshake because my cravings were making me hallucinate:

2 Cups Vanilla Ice Cream
¼ Cup Milk
2 Tbsp Peanut Butter
2 Tbsp Chocolate Syrup

… and it was awesome.

2. When I woke up in the middle of the night and secretly ate a mini bag of Doritos.

3. When I woke up in the middle of a DIFFERENT night and secretly ate a huge scoop of Hershey’s chocolate spread on a spoon. Twice.

4. Skipping the gym for a weekend to go to Grand Rapids for a wedding, where I ate and drank everything (including – but not limited to – a local beer called Beer Right Meow and everything pictured below).


That is a hot dog, which I ate with a fork because #classy.

… plus some a lot more.

5. Skipping the gym for the entire week following that wedding because I was “too (fill in the blank with literally any adjective).”

6. Swearing off ClassPass because they annoyed me by not letting me go to any more Bikram studios, which I desperately needed to detox from all that eating/drinking/gym-skipping.

7. Last night’s WCBC event at IPO Restaurant, because I don’t even like seafood and somehow found myself noshing on lobster, sea bass and RAW FREAKING FISH. That, my friends, is true hunger.

8. Eating all the treatz at a baby shower luncheon today:

… plus lunch.

9. Four words: Riot fest food trucks. OK, two more words: And beer.

And No. 10, which is a glimpse into the future: This weekend in Vegas, because all-you-can-eat buffets. How could I not, really?

And there you have it, 10 instances of failure and reasons my jeans went from being tolerable to OMG WAY TOO TIGHT. I mean, I’d go to the gym tonight, but I have to pack. And clean. Basically what I’m saying is I would rather scrub a toilet and do dishes than do a single minute of cardio. Also, pizza.

Anybody else going through a mid-month slump? Share some motivation with me, I’m begging you.

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