Since this blog’s inception, I vowed to keep the content personal and honest, no matter what. This means that when I screw up some dumb home project, cheat on a diet, or don’t change out of sweatpants for an entire weekend, I write about it. I’ve never been able to relate to the air of constant perfection found on most lifestyle blogs, so I wanted this one to be different.
I knew this decision could make me susceptible to negative feedback and criticism, but as a writer, it’s worth it to stay honest. My college newspaper’s motto, “Tell the truth and don’t be afraid,” has stayed with me long after graduation, I guess.
And it wasn’t until Saturday night – in the car with James, on our way to see “Foxcatcher,” which was uncomfortable in that weird way that makes you want to cover your eyes and keep watching at the same time, but I digress – that I realized just how much this would affect me.
Our wedding pictures by 1313 Photography, and yes, there are so many more where these came from
I’m willing to bet that most of you wouldn’t walk up to someone on the street and tell them what you think about their life decisions, whether it’s because you’re a good person or because you’re civilized enough to know that if you don’t have something nice to say, you should just keep your mouth shut. But for some reason, the internet has given everyone the false sense that it’s OK to openly judge everything, from people’s career and relationship choices to their hairstyle and favorite books.
I’m aware that free speech, something I have special appreciation for as a journalist, is a glorious thing that shouldn’t be taken for granted. I’m thankful for the right to voice my opinions about whatever I want, whenever I want. But I’m also aware that some people find pleasure in being vile human beings.
I was reminded of this on Saturday, on my way across town, when my phone beeped with this blog’s first negative comment.
On one hand, I’m disgusted that this person felt it necessary to judge my – a total stranger – life decisions and minimize their importance. Does this person know how long I grappled with the decision to leave my marriage and the circumstances surrounding it? Of course not. And isn’t it sad that the stigma exists in 2015, and people like this make others feel guilty for leaving bad relationships, and ashamed for finding happiness again? Shame on me for putting myself first, and shame on me for writing about my struggles openly and honestly on this blog.
But on the other hand, I’m kind of honored that some internet troll spent his or her Saturday night reading about my New Year’s resolutions, setting up a Disqus account, then taking the time to come up with a perfectly snarky comment. With an IP address from Aruba. I didn’t know I had readers outside the U.S., let alone in Aruba! It’s pretty cool, really.
Let me end this tirade with one final thought: Your life decisions, including who you break up with or who you fall in love with, are entirely up to you. Fuck the haters, and fuck the internet trolls – may they both remain as unhappy in life as they appear to be online.
Oh, and this, which you can also find on the contact page:
The Fancykins comment policy (which I never thought I’d have to make, so thanks for visiting the site)
Much like I write whatever I choose, I welcome readers to comment however they choose. Free speech is a beautiful thing, and for that reason, I won’t delete your comments, even if they’re ignorant and snide. However, leaving negative remarks will not only open you up to be the subject of tirades such as these, they will also prove you to be pitiful and contemptuous, and believe me, that’s not a good look on anybody. Hate speech won’t be tolerated and may be subject to deletion.