So, I have a Facebook page …

For a long time, I swore I wouldn’t make a Fancykins Facebook page. This was partially because I’m not the greatest Facebooker – I can’t tell you the last time I posted a photo or penned a status update – but also because it’s kind of nice to ditch social media promo and do nothing but write blog posts.

And so I wrote, and you guys have been so kind to read (and comment on) my blatherings. But the idea of making a Facebook still festered in the back of my mind, because life’s not hectic enough without throwing another social media channel in the mix.

fancykins is on FB

So, despite my initial hesitation, I made a Fancykins Facebook page, which I hope you’ll take a minute to like. It’s in its infancy, so posts are few and far between, but let me bribe you with one something that will (hopefully) make you forget about a lack of posts:


I’m talkin’ about Facebook giveaways, which I see (and regularly enter) from a lot of other bloggers. They’re easy and I don’t have to do a billion things on a Rafflecoptor to enter, so what’s stopping me from offering cool swag to you cool kids?

↓ Click this, and it does all the hard work for you.

This spring is going to be bananas over in Fancykins land, and I have a lot of good intentions that will (hopefully) come to fruition. Some kind of new layout, some kind of new design, some kind of new content … you know the drill. So click that blue button, like the Facebook page, and stay in the know. Please?

Let’s solve today’s real-life crime: The case of Hollie’s stolen cellphone

As you can probably gather from the headline of this post, my beloved cellphone was stolen last night from a fitting room bench. My suspect is the blonde chick with a giant Louis Vuitton bag that went in right after me. That’s right – I SAW HER and I hate her. I am clearly channeling all my “Serial”-listening aggression toward solving this real-life crime: The case of Hollie’s stolen cellphone.

Hollie_Portraits-15 (1)My phone and me in happier times, photo taken by my friend Anni Cee after we got tipsy on Big Star margaritas this summer.

Here are the clues we have to work with, written in third person because it makes it much more true crime-like:

Approx. 5:20 p.m. - Hollie enters Nordstrom Rack (1551 N. Sheffield, Chicago), because she’s in search of really embarrassing Teva walking sandals for an upcoming trip. (There are going to be volcanoes and rain forests, OK? Give her a break.)

5:25 p.m. - Hollie texts James from the second floor (“No sandals at [Nordstrom Rack]”) and continues downstairs to sift through clearance clothes. The two intended to meet inside the store shortly thereafter.

5:40 p.m.  - Hollie goes into first floor fitting room with arms full of clearance clothes. We know the exact time, because Hollie texts James (“I’m in a fitting room”) and sets phone on bench in room, which was the second stall on the left side. Phone starts beeping with group texts, Hollie turns phone on silent, sets it back down on bench like an idiot.  James responds to the text (“OK, I’m buying a suitcase”), which Hollie saw on the phone, which was on the bench.

Approx. 5:47 p.m. - After trying on six items, Hollie gets re-bundled up and leaves fitting room. She goes back out to the clearance section, which is located directly outside of fitting room, and contemplates buying a $10 Michael Kors maxi skirt for upcoming trip. Decides to buy the skirt, reaches in pocket to text James that she was going to check out. Realizes phone is not in pocket, remembers she left it on that darn bench. Walks the approximately 10 steps back to the fitting room and notifies the attendant.

Approx. 5:48 p.m. - Another girl is in the fitting room stall, so Hollie and the worker wait outside the room for the occupant to finish.

5:49 p.m. - James calls Hollie’s phone, not knowing that it is MIA, to tell her he left the store to pick up the car. Phone rings several times before going to voicemail.

5:50 p.m. - Blonde girl with giant Louis Vuitton bag exits fitting room, says she didn’t see a phone despite being the next person in the stall after Hollie.

Approx. 5:50 to 5:56 p.m. - Hollie leaves contact info with the two fitting room attendants and one security guard. Tries to call cellphone from the fitting room’s phone, but phone is now turned off and goes directly to voicemail. It could not have gone to voicemail because of a dead battery, because it had a relatively full charge. (Note: Turning it off also disables the “Find my iPhone” feature.)

5:56 p.m. to approx. 11 p.m. - Hollie calls James on the fitting room’s phone to pick her up, and they get a new phone at the Apple store, eat empanadas, and discuss the horrific crime all night.

Bonus! Approx. 7:15 p.m. - Hollie and James go from Apple store back to Nordstrom Rack, where they talk to the manager’s assistant and dressing store attendant. Attendant says after Hollie was in the fitting room, she went in afterwards and thoroughly checked the area – did not see a phone. Tried convincing Hollie that it was never in the room in the first place, when Hollie clearly remembers setting it down on bench to wait for James’ text about picking her up.

So, WHODUNIT? Suspects include blonde girl (Hollie’s guess) and fitting room attendant (James’ guess). Manager called back later that night to confirm that only one other person had been in the fitting room after me, and that no phone was uncovered from the store after closing. And if the fitting room attendant was correct and I temporarily blacked out and lost the phone, why was it immediately turned off only minutes after misplacing it?


But despite the phone thief’s mysterious identity, there are a few things she (since it was a ladies’ fitting room, we at least know it was a gal) should know:

1. The phone she stole is worthless to her, thanks to my having it passcode protected and connected to the iCloud. Even if she wipes the phone and does a factory reset, when she begins the setup process with the wiped phone, it will always ask for the password associated with the iCloud account the phone was registered with.

Apparently it’s an anti-theft feature, and I appreciate it.  Thanks, good guy Apple.

2. The stolen phone was only a refurbished iPhone 5, which is an outdated model that came before the 5s, and it gave me more trouble than any other phone I’ve ever owned. In the last two years, it shattered, quit working altogether, was replaced with a refurbished model, quit working altogether AGAIN, then got stolen. At least three times, I accidentally splashed it with bathwater and the speakers sounded like they were playing underwater for about a week.

My contract was thankfully up, so I didn’t have to pay $500+ for a new phone, and I ended up with the newest model. Certainly not ideal, but it could have been worse.

3. Not only did this chick steal a worthless phone, she stole five years’ worth of photos and videos. That’s right, NONE of my thousands of pictures were backed up, and nobody at Apple could tell me why. I regret not saving all that stuff on my computer or a drive, because now, what good are those memories sitting on my phone?

Karma’s going to (hopefully) get her, because what the heck.

PasscodeIf you don’t have a passcode set up, DO THIS. Image via About Tech.

Whether you’re responsible enough to not leave a phone on a fitting room bench or you misplace gadgets regularly, there are two things you need to do to prevent this (and worse) from happening to you. For starters, lock your phone with a passcode ALL THE TIME, because even if the phone is lost or stolen, the thief won’t be able to sell the phone or access any personal information. I certainly wouldn’t have wanted this lady to access all the promotional holiday coupons in my email and – gasp – USE THEM for herself!

And most importantly, ensure your phone backs everything up in the cloud all the time. Here are directions on how to do this. It’s easy – you have no excuse.

Has anybody else out there had a phone stolen or lost something really important to them? Did you ever find out WHODUNIT? And more importantly, can you use your “Serial”-garnered detective experience and solve the Case of Hollie’s Stolen Cellphone?

Step 1, Sign up for PrettyQuick. Step 2, Get a free manicure. Step 3, Get your freak on, girl.

Update: I’m aware that this post reads kind of like a sponsored post, but it’s not. PrettyQuick‘s just cool as hell and they’re offering all you kick-ass people $15 free credit to use toward a fierce manicure, waxing appointment, or whatever beauty treatment tickles your fancy. Read on to the bottom of the post for all the deets, because who the heck doesn’t like a freebie?

pretty quick 2pretty quick 3Photo from the PrettyQuick launch party by Nancy at Fancy Nancista – can you spot my hand?

I’ve written about how much my nails suck and why I love no-chip manicures but can’t afford them all the time, and that’s still pretty true (save for special occasions and weeks I miraculously have a few extra bucks in my account). But my eyebrows aren’t something I can slack on very often, because like the hair on my head, they are super curly and grow in places they have no business being. Like the SIDE OF MY FACE.

I visit my eyebrow waxer so often, she’s basically a friend at this point and we hug after every single appointment. And as someone who’s had her eyelid skin burned from too-hot wax more times than she’d like to admit, I’m willing to pay more for an experience I know will leave me unburned and looking fly. And, yeah, without eyebrows on the SIDE OF MY FACE.

Enter PrettyQuick, which is an app that not only lets me instantly book appointments at the brow waxing joint down the street in about two seconds, but also gives me $15 free credit for every eight appointments I book. My favorite salons don’t normally offer any sort of loyalty programs, so it’s a nice feeling to get something back after the billions of dollars I’ve spent to rip hair out for the sake of beauty. pretty quick 4

OK, now onto the good stuff – freebies!

If you sign up for PrettyQuick using THIS CODE, you’ll get $15 in your account immediately, which is especially great if you’re broke like me. And do you know what that $15 can buy you?

• A free manicure from any of the hundreds of salons on PrettyQuick.
• A huge discount on a $20 eyebrow wax, because burned eyelids & unibrows suck.
• A super-chill massage after a shit-tastic week at work where every day feels like Monday.
• A hair or makeup session for the sole purpose of treating yo-self, because life’s too short to NOT do that every once in a while (especially when it’s discounted).

So what are you waiting for, friends? Sign up online using THIS CODE, get dat free credit, live it up. I only ask that if you go to a salon that serves free champagne, you invite me. Deal?

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